Posted on dodsonandross.com 10/12/11 by The Intern/Karen Sundtoft
Three
months ago I told Carlin that I had bought two and a half hours of tantric
massage, and I was going to blog about it. There were no available times until
October so of course I forgot.
Until two
days ago… when I had just gotten my period… great!
I try
phoning the place but can’t get through. I end up going as scheduled, hoping
he’ll go through with it, since the days of my period make me even more
sexually responsive. The “he” in this little story is Bille, the owner of the
clinic I’m in. He is fine with it as long as I’m not at the top of my bleeding.
We sit down
and talk a little about what a tantra massage is, and why I’ve come. He
reassures me that there’s nothing to be nervous about, that it’s very normal to
have butterflies and I just need to try to relax. Suddenly I feel a little abnormal
for not having butterflies in my stomach… Then Bille tells me the most
important thing of it all: ”Try keeping your mind on the pressure I’m putting
on your body. If you let your thoughts run, you’re going to miss the entire
experience.” He’s right… in my mind I’m already writing the blog… I need to
focus!
After
removing my tampon and feeling a little anxious about bleeding on the white
sheets, I’m left alone in the room with the massage couch. I undress and get
comfortable on the couch lying on my stomach with a sheet over me. The couch
has a heater in it and there’s soft, meditative music playing. I’m already
pretty relaxed!
Bille
enters the room and asks me if I’m comfortable “Very much so”. He then removes
the sheet I have over me and varm towels are places all over my body. Every
time Bille moves, he makes sure to let a hand on my body tell me where he is.
Even though I’m relaxed, I keep recalling his words of “no running thoughts”… stop
blogging!
Again the
sheet is covering my body but removed from one of my legs. Warm oil is poured
over me… it feels so very nice. Then the massage starts. First on my cap, then
moving up to my thigh and here comes the first thing that makes this a full
body massage… literally. Bille’s hands massage my inner thigh all the way up
which means that he actually touches my outer labia. It feels great and I
ignore the thoughts of “shouldn’t this be a lover’s job…?”.
Then it’s time for
my buttocks to be massaged, and my butt hole is not going to be left out. Bille
only slides his hands over it, but it’s such an underestimated place to be
touched and I’m even more relaxed… still, there are thoughts that need to be
ignored!
My back, my
arms, and my fingers are next and get covered in the warm oil. Then comes the
hardest part which is turning my body so I’m on my back. I get a blanket under
my head and yes thank you, I’m very comfortable.
Now on my back the sheet is
folded down and exposes my Venus. I get a little concerned about having my
breasts massaged since that’s normally my “Okay, I’m turned on now”-button. But
I forget all about that when Bille starts on my stomach. So many, so very
receptive parts around my hips and lower stomach. Afterwards the breast massage
is just pleasurable.
The front
of my legs is massaged and the sheet is on again. Bille asks me if I want to
continue. Yes, please. He starts on my stomach and then moves down. I actually
think that he’s going to go straight for massaging my vagina, but no. I think:
“Oh, he’s lost”… but no, not really. He uses his thumb and index finger to
massage my outer labia, then my inner. I don’t feel turned on, though it’s a
nice spot for a massage… but then comes the massaging of my vagina… and yes,
now I’m turned on.
Or maybe ‘turned on’ isn’t the word. It’s another kind of
turned on than had I been with a guy and intercourse had been coming. I have to
say that Bille knows his spots, and yes, I’m overly relaxed and sensitive. An
orgasm is making its way through right away…
And then
the thoughts come. So does this mean that I’m paying this very friendly man to
make me come? I can’t help but think that this is probably the closest I’ll
ever get to prostitution!? The approaching orgasm vanishes in pure insult over
being an accomplice… I decide that having an orgasm is not an option!
Bille – who
has definitely felt something coming - tells me to breathe in deeply: “All the
way to your stomach.” The fact, that I can tell from his voice that he’s not
turned on, makes it all more legal… which is probably one of the reasons why
the “orgasm is not an option” is not an option. Too many nice spots are
massaged here!
I come in
the most relaxed orgasm I’ve ever had. It’s not a through the roof orgasm, but
my entire body is in it and no tension has been building this up! Betty would
be proud! Then suddenly I find it all very comic… just having come out loud in
the company of a complete stranger (well...). I start laughing out loud which then instantly turns into tears!? I’m
so relaxed and so touched (oh yes..) that tears start pouring out of my eyes
and into the blindfold. My first crygasm!!
I instantly think of Mariza Black in
the latest Bodysex Group! I couldn’t stop crying when she had her crygasm! Bille
puts a hand on my upper chest and that’s just what I need. I put my hands on
his and slowly the tears stop.
Then I get
to relax a little longer by myself and take my time finding my way out of the room.
Taking off the wet blindfold, I’m blinded by the dim lights. I breathe in and
smile… what a trip!
Afterwards
Bille and I sit down again to talk, and I’m told to drink a lot of water and
expect a reaction from this during the next couple of days. It can be anything
from crying to being more energetic, having great sex or leaving your boy/girlfriend…
I thank
Bille and head out the door with a smile, but as I get on my bike and take off,
the so very twisted feeling of guilt and shame appears… a feeling that I rarely
meet anymore. I forgive myself since after all I’ve compared this to an odd
form of prostitution… the closest I’ll ever get to paying for sex…
Still, the
feeling sticks with me and it stays there… until I have to pee. As I sit down
and relax, the feeling of satisfaction and truly being relaxed is so
overwhelming that my shame vanishes…
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